Shelley  Messing

Shelley Messing


Licensed Clinical Social Worker, LCSW Master of Social Work, MSW Specialties Insurance & Fees Locations
New York Accepting Online
Upper West Side Accepting In-person

I lead group for women with histories of interpersonal trauma on Zoom Tuesdays 6-7:30. Must be in individual therapy concurrently and commit to attend weekly.

Working in-person on UWS Tu/Thurs.

Updated November 16, 2023

Specialties & Expertise

  • Trauma
  • Anxiety
  • Couples counseling
  • Relationships
  • College & graduate student mental health
  • Substance abuse

Professional statement

Shelley Messing is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker in Manhattan. She has over 30 years of clinical experience and has a wide range of clinical interests and areas of specialization, including the treatment of Trauma and Complex PTSD, where she works with survivors of sexual, physical, and emotional abuse, rape, and developmental traumas, such as neglect or growing up with a mentally ill or substance abusing parent. She works with all kinds of couples, with college students and young adults "launching" into the next chapter of life, and with people struggling with symptoms such as anxiety, depression, and substance abuse. She treats people dealing with relationship and work challenges, as well as those dealing with grief and loss.

Shelley has developed a varied tool kit to help individuals and couples explore their inner and outer realities, and to support the hard work of change and transformation. She frequently incorporates mindfulness practices, experiments, EMDR, and Sensorimotor Psychotherapy ( a body-focused, mindfulness-informed, empowering therapy) into talk therapy to help people learn to notice when they are being triggered, to regulate their own nervous systems, and to explore various avenues for meaningful change.

Shelley respects her patients' boundaries and honors the relationship she develops with them. She is always aware of the power imbalance inherent in the relationship and knows it takes a lot of courage to seek out treatment and be vulnerable. She values the inner resources and survival strategies that have gotten each person to the present moment. She hopes to expand awareness of new skills and patterns of relating that might better serve each person in current day life. She helps people notice how they respond in their bodies as they talk about certain experiences before suggesting experiments with new tools and strategies. Shelley works creatively and treats each person and situation as unique. She involves her patients in creating a treatment that is meaningful and moves at a pace that is tolerable.

When working with couples, Shelley utilizes many techniques that are designed to help couples get underneath endless conflicts and disappointments to understand each other better and communicate more effectively. She helps couples learn to become less reactive, to slow down, and to feel more compassionate towards themselves and their partner.

Shelley continues to learn from and incorporate the latest research in neurobiology, mindfulness, and trauma in her sessions. She tailors her work to the individual, not to one particular model. She enjoys both the art and the science of being a therapist.

Message to clients

I believe a good therapeutic relationship is an essential component of any type of therapy experience. I've been told I'm non-judgmental and easy to talk to. I have a good sense of humor. It takes a lot of courage to begin with a therapist. I honor that and will help you identify your inner strengths and resources that have helped you thus far, and offer you new tools and strategies to experiment with as we work together to transform your life into one filled with joy and purpose.


Trauma - Coping and healing after threatening or scary events, such as experiencing sexual, verbal, emotional, or physical abuse. Coping with the aftereffects of developmental trauma, including growing up with neglect, deprivation, family violence, addiction/alcoholism, and/or mental illness of parents

Anxiety - Coping with excessive worry, nervousness, or stress; intense discomfort in social settings (social anxiety); sudden and intense feelings of panic (panic disorder)

Couples counseling - Addressing relationship challenges and life transitions; strengthening communication and feelings of security, desire, connection, and love

Relationships - Understanding one’s wants and needs in relationships; exploring patterns of interaction, addressing concerns, and strengthening satisfaction in relationships and dating

College & graduate student mental health - Specialized strategies for common issues of young adulthood, including school and career stressors, support around healthy relationships, existential concerns, drug or alcohol issues, eating disorders, and anxiety and/or depression

Substance abuse - Reducing and preventing the negative impact of drug and alcohol use and addictions on physical, emotional, and relational health


  • Adults (24+)
  • Couples
  • Families
  • Parents
  • Teenagers (13-18)
  • Young adults (18-24)


Shelley Messing is not in-network with any insurances.

Read about the benefits of seeing an out-of-network provider here.

Out-of-pocket fees

  • Individual sessions: $250 (45min)
  • Initial session: $300 (60min)
  • Longer ongoing Sessions: $300 (60min)

Additional session information

Out-of-network billing options

This provider can support you in getting reimbursement from your insurance company if you are seeking out-of-network reimbursement. Here are the out-of-network billing options they provide:

  • Super billing
Payment options
  • Cash
  • Check
  • Zelle
Session frequency

Frequency of sessions this provider offers to see clients once you are an established client.

  • Weekly
  • Multiple times a week
Therapist's note

The cost of sessions is adjusted based on

a general fee of $300 for 45 minutes.


Online Sessions (New York)
Accepting new clients online
Currently Available Times
  • Morning (Before 10am)
  • Daytime (10am - 1pm)
  • Afternoon (1pm - 5pm)
  • Evening (After 5pm)
  • Weekends
Regular Hours
  • Mon Please inquire about hours
  • Tue Please inquire about hours
  • Wed Please inquire about hours
  • Thu Please inquire about hours
  • Fri Closed
  • Sat Closed
  • Sun Closed

Upper West Side practice
170 West End Avenue (closest to 69th Street and Amsterdam Ave), 1-K, New York, New York 10023
Accepting new clients in-person
Currently Available Times
  • Morning (Before 10am)
  • Daytime (10am - 1pm)
  • Afternoon (1pm - 5pm)
  • Evening (After 5pm)
  • Weekends
Regular Hours
  • Mon Zoom online sessions 10-7
  • Tue in office in person and on Zoom 10-700
  • Wed Zoom online sessions 10-7
  • Thu In office in person and on Zoom 10-7
  • Fri Closed
  • Sat Closed
  • Sun Closed

Work and Education

Years of Experience: 39 years

Private Practice, 1986 - Present
Brooklyn Psychiatric Centers, Inc., 1986 - 1991
Fordham-Tremont Community Mental Health Center, 1985 - 1986

New York University, MSW, 1985
SUNY at Buffalo, BA, 1976


New York: R-033502-1