Yoav Ben Yosef

My approach in therapy is dual, drawing from both depth psychology and mindfulness. A practitioner of Buddhist meditation and mindfulness for the past two decades, I bring the insights of Eastern traditions to my clinical work, including methods and perspectives that help develop higher levels of awareness of the present moment. This helps clients cultivate a new, more forgiving way of looking at themselves and their challenges; they often begin to “handle” themselves with greater care and understanding. Anger and blame are replaced by acceptance, compassion and tenderness. This shift, rather than keep one “stuck” in the present moment is actually a wonderful way to progress towards a different future; it is so empowering that braving new, scary choices becomes a realistic possibility. The therapy room is therefore the place where fear is alchemized into a pathway leading to growth and advancement.

Depth psychology, my second focus, recognizes that the demons coming at us in the present are often rooted in the past; finding and healing them often means traveling to the place where the wound was first inflicted. Here my role is to act as a gentle guide as the client begins to retrace their life story and recognize whatever misconceptions might have formed when the mind was too young or too confused to make sense of events, especially when those events created trauma. On this path, we use clues and signposts from the clients’ words, thoughts and ideas. I tend to ask questions to enrich the client’s reflection and self-knowledge, and I often suggest keeping a journal of dreams and thoughts to support our exploration of unconscious processes.

Therapy is often a challenging process. It requires facing areas in the mind that are likely too difficult to look at on one’s own. People have different ways of avoiding this discomfort: alcohol, drugs, engagement in risky or soul-emptying sexual practices, over-working, over-eating, over-thinking, lashing out. Even yoga and meditation can deceptively serve to block out pain under the guise of “being in the moment.” My approach to working with any of these methods of avoidance is to try to understand and honor them, never to aggressively get rid of them. The client and I gently look for the pain or fear that made such habits necessary, so we can then reassure it that the client now has the internal resources and power to keep themselves safe. For this purpose, clients’ sense of safety in sessions is my utmost concern and I often check in with them to ask how they are doing and what they need in the present moment to feel protected. Clients learn that no thought, no behavior, no past regret they bring up in our conversation is going to be judged; this leads to an increased willingness to open up in such a way that makes repairment and healing possible.