Therapy type Relational Therapy

Relational Therapy

What is relational therapy?

Relational therapy is a type of talk therapy that draws on the psychodynamic therapeutic approach, a common therapeutic approach used by many therapists. Central to relational therapy is the idea that we are shaped by our social worlds and relationships, and that having good relationships is essential for our well-being and self-esteem. Relational therapy uses a relational perspective to understand that our experience of emotional distress is connected to relational issues.

Relational therapy explores how past experiences shape us and our patterns of relating to others, along the lines of psychodynamic therapy. Based on the past, relational therapy aims to equip individuals with more helpful ways of interacting with others in the present. This, in turn, improves relationships and connections with others, and so improves overall emotional and psychological well-being.

Read on for more information about relational therapy, what it’s like to engage in relational therapy, and tips for finding a therapist who practices relational therapy.

two adults talking to each other across a table

What can relational therapy help with?

Relational therapy is intended — through the lens of relationships — to help people who are experiencing distress for a wide range of reasons. This includes mental health challenges more than just relationship conflicts, though relationship conflicts are the focus of relational therapy sessions.

Some examples of relationships issues include:

  • Conflict in your relationship with your partner, due to trust or communication issues
  • Pushing away new people you meet, even though you’d like to be friends
  • Feeling anxious whenever you interact with people at work
  • Family or workplace relationship issues

Relational therapy can help with problematic relationship patterns of any kind, not just those affecting romantic partner relationships. They are also helpful in the context of attachment styles, with the goal of developing a secure attachment style across all relationships.

Does relational therapy work?

As relational therapy can be delivered in quite different ways, it is difficult to consistently research how effective it is as a therapeutic intervention

That said, the existing research suggests that relational-based interventions can be effective treatments for mental health challenges. For example, one study found that individuals with personality disorder diagnoses showed similar gains from participating in brief relational therapy as they would in cognitive behavior therapy (1).

Further research is required before any firm conclusions can be made about how effective relational therapy is, and how it compares to other therapy approaches

How does relational therapy work?

Relational therapy draws on psychodynamic therapy, which is based on the theory that our thoughts and behaviors are influenced by our unconscious and that this unconscious was developed through past experiences. This includes past interactions and relationships with other people.

In relational therapy, the focus of each session is on how past relationship experiences are enacted in current relationships, leading us to relate to others in unhelpful ways, and therefore resulting in unhappiness and disconnect. Understanding how these earlier relationships shaped us is important in developing an understanding as to why we might feel distress during present-day interactions, such as social anxiety or low self-esteem.

This is important because relationship difficulties are a major cause of mental health challenges, such as:

There is a strong focus on the relationship between the therapist and the individual in relational therapy. This is called the therapeutic alliance. Interactions with your therapist can reflect what is happening in relationships outside of therapy, and therefore your conversations provide a safe forum for trying out new ways of relating to others.

Through relational therapy, your therapist will help you to uncover these connections and patterns in your everyday interactions and as they arise in the therapeutic relationship. Together, you’ll identify and work through these patterns to reduce their effect on your current thoughts and behavior. You will learn how to interact with others in ways that improve your connections and well-being.

Length and frequency of relational therapy sessions

Unlike some other therapy types, relational therapy is an approach based on a theory, rather than a set protocol or series of techniques. As such, the frequency of sessions and length of therapy depends on individual circumstances and fall across a wide range.

Typically, relational therapy is a longer-term style of therapy, with weekly sessions for over a year. You and your therapist will decide together on the right time to finish therapy, which may occur once you’ve reached your therapy goals.

What happens in a typical relational therapy session

As relational therapy is theory-led and experiential, so many aspects of therapy can vary widely.

Typically, relational therapy sessions focus the conversation on the ongoing process of interaction between the individual and the therapist. Through these interactions, repeating relational patterns become evident, based on the past experiences of both parties. The therapist will constantly monitor interactions to notice how the individual responds, intending to identify when the individual experiences distressing reactions or engages in unhelpful behavior.

During relational therapy sessions, the therapist will bring awareness to problematic patterns of interaction that arise between the individual and therapist. They might do this, for example, by saying something like, “What I experience right now is a feeling of you pulling away from me. What’s your experience?”

The therapist helps the client investigate how these unhelpful patterns of interacting came about, and then together they work on developing new ways of interacting. When engaging in relational therapy, you might look at unhelpful thinking patterns and work on developing more helpful ways of thinking, as you might do in cognitive behavior therapy.

You might also practice and experiment with new behaviors and ways of interacting with others within the therapeutic space with your therapist. The relationship with the therapist provides a new kind of relational experience from which to learn.

What to look for in a therapist for relational therapy

There are several factors to keep in mind when selecting a therapist, including:

Specialization

Look for a therapist who has experience working with people who experience relationship issues and one that has completed training in relational therapy. Keep in mind that relational styles of therapy are often referred to in various ways, including “relational therapy,” “relational-cultural therapy,” or “relational psychotherapy.”

It’s also important to look for a therapist who demonstrates their commitment to the approach through membership of a relevant organization, such as The International Association for Relational Psychoanalysis and Psychotherapy.

Therapists often include this information in their biography on their website or online profile. You can also find this information on the therapist’s Zencare profile and watch their introductory video to get a sense of whether you would be a good fit for one another.

Qualifications

With so many different provider types available, it can be difficult to decide which type of mental health professional to see. The most important thing is to look for a therapist with an active license to practice. This ensures that your therapist has completed the appropriate level of education to practice.

Personal fit

The trusting relationship between you and your therapist, known as the “therapeutic alliance” can have a huge impact on the efficacy of therapy, especially relational therapy, as it's based on relationships and interactions. This is critical to the relational therapy approach, as you’re likely to work through cycles of rupture and repair in your relationship. As such, it’s important to work with someone you trust and someone that makes you feel understood and respected.

The best way to judge how you might feel about a therapist is to book a preliminary phone call, also called a consultation call. This also allows you to ask about their training, experience, and what therapy will be like in each session. At Zencare, consultation calls are free! Try to speak to a few different therapists before deciding, that way you can find one that is the best fit for you

Find therapists specializing in relational therapy

Find therapists who specialize in relational therapy on Zencare. Filter by insurance, fees, and location; watch therapist introductory videos; and book free consultation calls to find the right therapist for you!Find therapists who specialize in relational therapy on Zencare. Search by insurance, fees, and location; watch therapist introductory videos; and book free initial calls to find the right therapist for you!

Sources and references

Find vetted therapists who practice Relational Therapy