Andrew Goodman

I have been a therapist working with couples and individuals for more than twenty-five years. During that time I have found it is important to balance understanding a couple as a whole and the two individuals which make up the relationship. I help a couple focus on ineffective and dysfunctional communication patterns that result in a sense of frustration and discouragement. I encourage each person to express their emotional needs more directly and openly. People often express their anger and criticism about their partner's behavior, but have difficulty asking for what they need in a clear, non-attacking way. When people can express their underlying needs for support and understanding, and the insecurities and vulnerable feelings they usually hide, their partners then are more likely to respond in a positive, affirming way.

This approach helps couples develop constructive problem resolution skills. People become able to assert themselves more comfortably, while understanding and appreciating their partner's perspective. Couples often find they learn new things about their partner’s personality even when they have been together a long time.

In individual therapy I also help people focus on patterns in their significant relationships that result in feelings of frustration, distance, and sadness. Most  people come into therapy because they are experiencing emotionally painful feelings such as anxiety, depression, and anger which they are having difficulty managing. They know what hurts, but they may not be aware of the meanings that they give to certain situations. It is the meaning that we assign to a situation that causes pain, more than a specific action or behavior that someone does to us. Understanding our experience and motivations more clearly, helps us communicate our needs more directly to the important people in our lives. This both decreases our pain and increases a sense of connection to others. Before we can communicate more clearly with others, we have to be able to identify and formulate our experience clearly to ourselves. This leads to increased self-esteem and self-acceptance.