Understanding and Healing Attachment Issues

Babies establish a profound emotional connection with their caregivers during their infancy. This attachment can vary in quality and significantly influence a child's developmental journey. Additionally, the attachment experience formed during early childhood stages shapes how individuals approach and build their adult relationships. In instances where the quality of attachment is lacking, the child may grow up to have attachment issues.  

What Are Attachment Issues?

Attachment Theory explains how bonds with caregivers develop and how different styles of attachment are formed. Healthy attachments lay the foundation for resilience, positive interactions, and stable relationships in adulthood. They are more likely to develop when primary caregivers respond sensitively to a child's needs and provide reliable and consistent care.

When children receive inconsistent caregiving, they may not develop healthy bonds and instead develop attachment issues. This can adversely affect emotional relationships and mental health conditions in both childhood and adulthood. There is no quick, complete fix for attachment issues. However, with proper support and a skillful therapist, it is possible to develop positive, healthy relationships.

Types of Attachment Issues

There are two types of attachment:

• Secure attachment: This is the ideal selective attachment bond, where a strong sense of trust is formed between the child and the primary or familiar caregiver, leading to better relationship and mental health outcomes over the longer term. By working with a therapist, secure attachment can be developed as an adult.
• Insecure attachment: The selective attachment bond between caregiver and child has not been established — the child does not trust that their needs will be met. This includes the anxious attachment style.

The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5) identifies two types of attachment disorders that are diagnosed during childhood, typically when a child has faced severe instances of inadequate care:

• Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) is marked by emotionally withdrawn behavior, where the child may struggle to form connections with others.
• Disinhibited Social Engagement Disorder (DSED), also known as Disinhibited Attachment Disorder, is characterized by overly familiar social interactions. In this condition, children may disregard typical social boundaries, often engaging with strangers without considering their safety.

While there are no formal diagnostic guidelines for attachment disorders in adults, the effects of the attachment bond formed in childhood can be seen in adulthood. For example, adults may continue to have difficulty with romantic relationships or experience codependency. Or they may struggle with symptoms of emotional disorders like anxiety, depression, or other mental health challenges. Therefore, it's equally important for adults and children to receive help when it comes to attachment issues.

How Attachment Styles Impact Relationships

Your attachment style can silently influence every relationship, shaping how you communicate, handle conflict, and experience intimacy. It can show up as:

• Clinginess or emotional withdrawal in romantic partnerships.
• Difficulty trusting friends or feeling easily hurt by perceived rejection.
• Emotional walls that make vulnerability feel unsafe.

When attachment wounds go unaddressed, they can contribute to mental health challenges like anxiety, depression, and low self-esteem. But these patterns can easily shift with some support!

Identifying Signs of Attachment Challenges

If you experience some of the following symptoms, it may be helpful to seek an evaluation from a qualified mental health professional for attachment issues:

• Underdeveloped social skills
• Struggle to form emotional bonds with others
• Lack of positive emotional experiences
• Emotional neglect
• Challenges with physical or emotional intimacy and establishing healthy boundaries
• Anxiety
• Mood changes
• Difficulty regulating emotions, leading to strong reactions to changes in routine or attempts to exert control
• Engagement in high-risk behaviors such as substance abuse
• Behavioral difficulties or unpredictable behavior — outbursts or other emotional issues
• Relationship problems

Some of these symptoms are similar to those of other mental health diagnoses, such as Autism Spectrum Disorder or depression. Therefore, if you experience some of these symptoms, it’s important to work with a mental health professional for an accurate diagnosis.

Therapy Approaches for Attachment Issues

There are several treatment options to support children and adults with attachment issues, but therapy is an important component. The best therapy for attachment issues usually involves a combination of the following:

• Attachment Therapy: Talking therapies in individual or family therapy contexts can help develop secure attachment styles, address mental health or behavioral challenges, and help children and adults heal from trauma. Therapists can help children make sense of their feelings and provide them with coping strategies. Attachment-focused therapy can also help adults understand how past experiences and upbringing may have caused unhealthy attachment styles that they experience today, improve any interpersonal relationship dynamics, and work through fear of rejection.
• Education: The primary caretaker (or replacement caregiver) of a child with attachment issues may benefit from learning positive behavior management and communication strategies or attending classes to improve poor parenting skills. A therapist can provide this and help facilitate a nurturing, healthy bond between the child and caregiver.
• Helplines: If you need immediate support, call 988 or go to the 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline website. If you think a child is in danger or at risk, contact the Childhelp National Child Abuse Hotline at 1-800-422-4453.
• Self-care: Adults with attachment issues sometimes haven’t had the opportunity to learn good self-care habits. It’s important to get an appropriate amount of sleep, eat nutritious foods, exercise regularly, and learn helpful self-talk and self-soothing skills.
• Online resources: Explore self-guided psychological and educational resources online.
• Medical checkup: See your physician to explore or rule out any physical factors contributing to symptoms. If other issues are present, such as depression, some people may benefit from medication and psychological therapy.

Take Steps Toward Healthy Attachments

Healing attachment trauma is a journey, but it does not need to be an isolated one. Therapy can be a powerful step toward understanding your relational patterns, learning healthier ways to connect, and experiencing the closeness you deserve. Find a therapist today and take the first step toward healing with Zencare.

Sources and references

1. Minnis, H., et al., (2003). Prevalence of reactive attachment disorder in a deprived population
2. Lehmann, S., et al., (2013). Mental disorders in foster children: a study of prevalence, comorbidity and risk factors
3. Bowlby, Richard. Attachment Theory: How to help young children acquire a secure attachment (PDF).
4. Elizabeth E. Ellis & Abdolreza Saadabadi, Reactive Attachment Disorder
5. Medscape, Attachment Disorders