Alan Archibald(He/Him/His)

See 1 Change focuses on the most stubborn stresses and behaviors we experience. These problems can be tied to differences in how we process relationship information or past traumas. Here are some examples of common trauma responses. BETRAYAL AND TRUST – Children who are victims of sexual abuse often experience grooming, then sexual violation, then threats to not tell. Therapy and relationships issues are going to center around trust. Grooming and threatening amplify the betrayal built into sexual abuse. This betrayal undermines their ability to trust their own judgment. SUCCESS AND PESSIMISM – Some children have caring parents who use physical discipline. But if the caring is removed, and the punishment becomes cruel, volatile, and terrifying – then children experience trauma instead of correction. Beatings come on good days, and maybe no response on days of misbehavior. There is a chaos that prevents the “safe harbor” of home from developing. These children find that no matter how well things go and how fortunate their circumstances become, they are always expecting something terrible to happen. Even success becomes a sign that something bad is coming. WISHING TO DISAPPEAR – Children who witness domestic violence at an early age (physical aggression between parents) often become so fearful that they hide and shake. There is no one to comfort them. Young children depend upon parents for reassurance – but it is not available from combatants. They experience in their bodies the wish to disappear. Later in life, when they experience stress, it can remind them of that vulnerability where there is no comfort for their feelings of terror. They find that the wish to disappear emerges again.